Extreme Nut Flavored Melons!
by AoiBaraKa
Summary: Yamamoto, Tsuna, and Reborn have decided that Gokudera WILL stop smoking. But how will they manage that........
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Gokuderas Smoking Problem **

**Pairing: 8059 aka YamaxGoku **

**Rating: T **

**Warnings: Random butt grabbing**

**A/N: Hiiee~ this is...... um... whatever u wanna call me. -_-' anyways....... i basically suck at writing in general, so please bear with me. this is also my first fic, so xXBitchNinjaXx is doing most of the work......... *sweatdrops* anyways, its about midnight, xXbitchNinjaXx is acting drunk and trying to hug Xanxus (even tho hes not here right now...) i just had a heart attack because her cat tried to claw me through the back of the chair I'm sitting in, we are both so tired we are acting drunk, and I'm having random stomach aches kinda like Shoichi.... 0.o Well, with that said, ikoze!! :3**

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Ne Gokudera, you really should stop smoking."

"Huh?" Gokudera looked up from his book to shoot an annoyed glare at the yakyuu-baka (A/N: baseball idiot) sitting across from him.

"Smoking is bad for you ya know? You really should stop, or it'll-"

"Urusai (A/N: shut up) yakyuu-baka. I don't need an idiot preaching to me about bad health. What I do is none of your damn business!"

"Maa, maa Gokudera, calm down. I didn't mean anything by it, it's just......"

"Just spit it out Yamamoto, I don't have all day you know?"

"Well....... Tsuna has been worried about you lately and-"

"The Jyuudaime.... is worried.... about.. me?" Gokudera stuttered, his tone softening up at the sound of his beloved bosses name.

"Haha, yeah......... He said something about not wanting you like.... stop breathing or something..... And the kid said something about you not having life insurance to deal with a sudden lung failure......."

Gokudera sweatdropped. "Sounds like something Reborn-san would say..... So why am I stuck talking to you about this instead of the Jyuudaime?"

"Haha well, im not really sure!" Yamamoto stated cheerfully, with that optimistic grin plastered on his face.

"Tch. Stupid yakyuu-baka....." That smile.... that tone of voice.... basically everything about Yamamoto pissed Gokudera off to no end. Why? Gokudera himself wasn't even fully sure himself. Which pissed him off even more. He didn't like being in the dark and not knowing what was going on around him.

"Well then, its almost five. I'm gonna go get some milk...need strong bones you know? See you later Gokudera!" And just like that, Gokudera was alone again. Peaceful silence... it was wonderful. Until a certain lightning guardian decided to 'grace' him with his presence.

"Ne, ne, Stupiddera! Lambo-san wants takoyaki (A/N: octopus balls)! Takoyaki!!!" The annoying five-year old whined, bouncing up and down angrily at Gokuderas feet. Stopping suddenly, the little cow brat composed himself and gave the bomber a thoughtful look, one hand on his fat little chin. "Ne, buy me some and I might just CONSIDER letting you become my subordinate......" Gokudera then grabbed Lambo by his curly junk filled Afro, stood up from the surprisingly comfortable chair he was sitting in, and stomped over to the door, dropping the cow as he sent a powerful kick upwards, bunting the now pitifully wailing child across Namimori, grenades falling from the cow's hair as he flew.

"WHO WOULD WANT TO BE YOUR SUBORDINATE ANYWAY YOU STUPID-ASS COW!! GO ASK THE LAWN HEAD TO BUY YOU TAKOYAKI, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" The now very VERY miffed guardian yelled as Lambo continued to sail over the town.  
Truding back to his chair, he couldn't help but picture the Afro-guardian finally crashing to the ground, erupting into tears as he swore his vengeance. Personally, Gokudera couldn't help but hope the brat fell into Nami Middle so Hibari could bite the kid to death as well, but the Storm Guardian didn't particularly care. He was too busy thinking about what Yamamoto had said about the Jyuudaime being worried........

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**At Tsuna(the Jyuudaime)'s house**

The tenth generation Vongola boss, Sawada Tsunayoshi, was sitting with his home tutor, a baby named Reborn, when Yamamoto finally returned from his turn at trying to reason with Gokudera. Tsuna immediately abandoned his unfinished math homework when his Rain Guardian entered the room and took a seat beside him.

"So, what did Gokudera-kun say? Will he quit smoking!?" Tsuna asked, eagerly waiting for Yamamoto to answer.

"Haha..... well......" Yamamoto sheepishly rubbed the back of his head.  
Tsuna looked down, obviously disappointed.

"I really don't know what to do Yamamoto. You and Gokudera-kun get along so well, and if he doesn't even listen to you..."

"I suppose we'll just have to use my method," Reborn concluded, opening his briefcase, which Tsuna knew was full of dangerous weapons.

"Hiiiiiiiie!! Reborn!! Your not going to shoot him are you?!"

"Calm down, Dame-Tsuna. I have another plan, but Yamamoto will have to agree with it as well."

"Ok kid, whats the plan?" Reborn smiled that slightly sadistic smile that alerted Tsuna something extremely bad was going to happen....

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"Hey Gokudera, I didn't expect to see you here!"

"Moron. I've just been sitting here since you left before."

"Oh yeah, I guess your right, hehe."

"Well, what do you want this time?"

"Well the kid, Tsuna and I-"

"The Jyuudaime?!" Gokudera asked, interest immediately arising.

"Yeah, well, we have decided how to make you quit smoking." Gokudera looked up at the suddenly serious Yamamoto with amusement.

"Oh really? And what would that be?"

"You'll find out next time you light a cigarette........... Anyway," Yamamoto's trademark grin reappeared on his face, "Wanna come with me and Tsuna to eat at my place?"

"Tch. Like I'd want to.... Wait, did you say the Jyuudaime would be there!?"

"Yup!" Gokudera scowled and looked away from Yamamoto's overpowering smile.

"Well, I guess I'll have to come, since I can't let you be alone with the Jyuudaime..........."

And that was how Yamamoto and Gokudera ended up walking to Yamamoto's house together.

Gokudera remained silent, occasionally glaring suspiciously at the yakyuu-baka attempting to make him interested in baseball, thinking about what exactly he meant by 'You'll find out the next time you light a cigarette'. Would Reborn-san replace his precious cigarettes with some sort of bomb? Wouldn't put it past him.....

Gokudera sighed. All of this thinking was too troublesome. He decided to risk the possibility that his cigarettes had already been filled with some even more toxic substance, and light one.

He took his brand-new pack out of his right pants pocket, put one in his mouth, and was reaching for his lighter, when......... Squeeze.

Eyes wide, he dropped the white tobacco filled cylinder to the ground where it continued to pour smoke from the end until the flame went out. He turned to Yamamoto, face warm.

"What...what THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!" The storm guardian yelled. Yamamoto just continued smiling, not yet removing his large calloused hand from his fellow guardian and friends soft posterior tissue.

"I said WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR YOU YAKYU-BAKA??!!"

"Eh? Oh sorry Gokudera. I was just thinking to myself that you actually have a prety nice butt on you."

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**A/N: yaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy happiness!! :3 im finally done, i feel accomplished. many thanks to xXBitchNinjaXx, my ponytail buddy. well, tell me what you think, onegaishimasu!!**


	2. Chapter 2

Title: The Bus Ride from Hell

Rating: T for swearing and shonen-ai

Pairings: XanxusxTsuna(X27), YamamotoXGokudera(8059), possibly some others.

Disclaimer: I obviously don't own any anime/manga (including khr) because if i did you would all worship me XDDD

Summary: The Vongola Guardians, the Varia, and Reborn are going to an onsen. Only problem; they are all on the same bus.

A/N: Ok, just to clarify, this takes place before TYL! but after the Ring Battles, so they are either 18 or 19. Just so you know ^_^ anyway, this is a birhtday fic for my ponytail buddy (long story) xXBitchNinjaXx She wanted an X27, and I wound up with this :3 YOSH! it begins now.....

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Sawada Tsunayoshi, Tenth Generation boss of the Vongola family; was cowering in the back of a loud, violent bus fearing for his life. Reborn had shocked everyone by announcing that they would be going on a trip to an onsen for the weekend. However; he'd failed to mention that he'd invited the Varia as well. Through some miracle, all members of both families had gotten on the bus alive. But now, they were having troubles staying in that state. Both sides were a bit sore about the Ring Battles, even though it had been quite awhile since that had been resolved.

"VVVVVVVVVVVVVVOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIII! SHUT UP YOU BRATS!"

"Ushishishi~ You shut up, gay shark freak."

"WHAT WAS THAT YOU LITTLE TIARA-WEARING BRAT!"

"Ohhhhhh my~ Bel, Squ, calm down and play nice!"

"ALL OF YOU SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTHES!JYUUDAIME NEEDS QUIET!"

Scratch that, they weren't sore about the Ring Battles, they just plain hated each other.

No one knew how exactly they'd begun fighting, but at this point there were knives, suitcases, sticks of dynamite, and various other objects flying through the air. Said projectiles almost never hit their intended targets, no, they ended up getting more mafioso involved. In almost no time at all, the only people not involved were Tsuna, Levi, Fran, and Xanxus. Xanxus was sleeping, and by some miracle he hadn't woken up yet. Levi was protecting Xanxus, trying to earn points with his beloved boss. Plus nobody really noticed him sitting there so he was left completely alone. Fran was just sitting in the very back with his unfathomable expression, staring at the brawl going on in front of him. Belphegor would throw his knives at him or come over and bug him every couple minutes, claiming he was bored, but Fran would just tell him to go away in his monotone voice. Tsuna was scared out of his mind by the hostile mafioso who had been constantly at each other's throats since the very beginning of their trip.

Belphegor and Gokudera were seriously trying to kill each other, which was a great cause for worry, since some of the others were also getting injured as a result of the dynamite and knives that kept missing their targets. Squalo and Ryohei seemed to be having some sort of "extreme" shouting competition, which just irritated the other Guardians even more.

Tsuna was even more scared of the Varia boss then all of his Guardians combined, and yet he half hoped that Xanxus would wake up and make them all stop fighting with each other. But then again, they might not make it out alive if he did, so...... he just had to be content with cowering in the very back of the bus.

"Why aren't you doing anything Dame-Tsuna?" Tsuna recoiled at the sound of his tutor's voice.

"Hiiiie! Reborn! What do you want?" Reborn decided to answer Tsuna's question by hitting him with Leon, who had transformed into a mallet.

"I want you to answer my question."

"What was your question again?" Reborn hit him again with Leon, much harder this time.

"Never mind. Just go stop this fight.... it's interupting my nap time." Tsuna sweatdropped. 'So that's what he was so concerned about......' he thought.

"What am I supposed to do about it!" Tsuna complained.

"Do it yourself, Dame-Tsuna. I can't give you all the answers. Now hurry up, I'm getting cranky." WIth that, Tsuna was roughly yanked out of his safe little corner and thrown right into the middle of the squabble.

"Ushishishi~ look, the little peasant decided to come and play with the prince~"

"Leave Jyuudaime alone, knife-bastard! He obviously came to see how his subordinates were doing, since he's such a kind and generous boss! Right, Jyuudaime?"

Having the two Storm Guardians staring intensely at him, evidently awaiting an answer, was too much for the young Vongola boss, and he began to retreat slowly.

"Ano..... well.... that is..... I...... ummm......" Tsuna yelped as he unecpectedly bumped into someone behind him.

"Kufufufufu~ Why hello Tsunayoshi, we meet again."

"H-hhhhiiiiiieeee! M-mukuro........"

"Oi, pineapple-head! Leave Jyuudaime alone, can't you see he doesn't want to talk to you!" Gokudera was very frustrated that nobody was listening to him, and he was obviously about to blow a major fuse. Luckily, Yamamoto was there to diffuse the situation (a little bit). He sauntered up behind Gokudera and pulled him into a relaxed hug.

"Maa maa Hayato, Mukuro is on our side, remember?"

"Tch." Gokudera crossed his arms over his chest and turned away huffily. But he couldn't hide the obvious blush that dyed his face bright pink. He was still very reserved about his relationship with Yamamoto, so he normally forgot whatever he was fuming about when Yamamoto got affectionate with him in public.

"Ushishishi~ looks like the big bad Storm peasant really is gay~"

"Oh, and you're not, knife bastard?" Belphegor's psychotic grin waivered for a moment, but he regained his composure immidiately.

"The prince is bi, there's a difference. Or are you so much stupider than the prince that you can't even understand what he says?"

"You're the stupid one, always talking in the third person, you sound like a fucking caveman."

"Ushishishi~ what was that? You want the prince to make you into a cactus? That can easily be arranged...."

"Kufufufu~ I wonder what they'll do....." Mukuro commented, reminding a panicking Tsuna that his Mist Guardian, Rokudo Mukuro was directly behind him, pressed up against his back. Mukuro loomed over Tsuna and stared down at him keenly.

"U-um... I'm glad you could make it Mukuro....." Tsuna hesitantly said, trying to break the ice with his ever-mysterious Mist Guardian.

"So am I...." Mukuro replied baitingly, looming over the much shorter male.

'Oh great, Mukuro's trying to seduce me again. Well, it won't work!' The lithe mafioso steeled himself against the possibly detrimental effect of Mukuro's efforts.

"Rokudo Mukuro, remove yourself from Tsunayoshi's personal space, or I will remove you myself."

"H-Hibari-san!" Tsuna looked away from Mukuro to comfirm that it was indeed the Vongola Cloud Guardian, Hibari Kyoya.

"Kufufu~ And how exactly do you plan to do that," Mukuro challenged. The brunet's eyes widened dramatically when he realized that he was directly in between the two menacing Guardians.

"Get out of the way Tsunayoshi, we have things to settle," Hibari ordered. It was getting very tense, and Tsuna was very tempted to do just that. But then he considered which was more dangerous; trying to break up a fight between Hibari and Mukuro, or NOT breaking up the fight and getting punished severely by Reborn. After about one second, he decided to stay where he was and try to diffuse the possibly disastrous situation.

"Mukuro, H-Hibari-san, c-could you please stop fighting?" Immidiately he regretted his choice of words. Being so direct would only result in injury to himself, and this belief was strenghtened when both taller males stared at him threateningly.

"I-I mean, just for now..... y-you can fight when we go back home......" he trailed off pathetically. 'Well, you blew it Tsuna,' he said to himself, and preparened for the pain he knew was about to come.

"What exactly are you trash doing?" Every noise ceased as soon as this quiet but powerful and angry voice spoke from somewhere near the front of the bus. For the next minute or so, no living thing made even the smallest sound. It seemed that Xanxus had woken up. And he was most definately not happy about it. Whether he had a hangover or if he was just pissed off as usual would remain a mystery, since everyone knew that they were about to get a major beating for waking up the continuously irate Varia boss.

Unfortunately, since he believed that everyone's eyes were on Xanxus, Tsuna made the mistake of trying to sneak away to the back of the bus to avoid the crimson-eyed man's wrath. But his efforts were in vain, because Xanxus decided that very second to look straight at him.

The Tenth boss of the Vongola family froze instantaneously, afraid to move even his eyes. He had a sneaky suspicion that Xanxus would not forgive him for his impudence, and that he was going to get one hell of a beating. Well, he was right.

Xanxus moved gracefully toward Tsuna, but he didn't hurry, knowing full well that there was no escape for the terrified mafioso. Now that Xanxus had chosen a target for his rage, all of the others decided that it was safe for them to do whatever they pleased. Lussuria went back to annoying Squalo, Hibari and Mukuro readied their weapons, Gokudera flipped out and tried to get to Tsuna to help him out; but was blocked by a wall of other mafia members.

Tsuna was positive that his life was very close to ending. With Xanxus dead set on beating the crap out of him, and since there was obviously no help on the way, he had no hopes of escape.

From Tsuna's perspective; it was like everything was moving half as fast as normal. His eyes darted around the large bus crowded with mafioso, he looked at each of their faces in turn, but the one face he kept avoiding was Xanxus's. He couldn't bear to see the pure anger on the man's scarred face, he knew it would just make him more nervous.

When Tsuna finally found the courage to face his attacker, his heart stopped. Xanxus was directly in front of him.

'Reborn! Why did you get me into this!' Tsuna thought as he tensed in anticipation of the pain about to come. Suddenly, the bus jolted to an abrupt stop. Tsuna, being clumsy as usual, fell sideways into the nearest seat.

Then, without warning, he felt a much heavier body land on top of him. Considering the fact that Xanxus was the only person close enough to him to fall on top of him, Tsuna deduced that the warm body covering his belonged to Xanxus.

Tsuna almost passed out from fright when Xanxus growled angrily. His cry of fear reminded Xanxus of the suggestive position they were in. He looked at Tsuna with a mixture of suprise and amusement in his crimson eyes. Staring into Tsuna's alarmed honey-brown eyes, he temprarily forgot his vendetta against the younger man.

The bus braked abruptly again, and Xanxus's hand slipped out from under him. As a result, Xanxus's head jerked forward, causing his lips to smash against Tsuna's.

Tsuna's mind screamed at him to get away somehow, but he was too shocked to even blink.

Xanxus was equally as suprised. The last person he expected to end up kissing was this trash that had somehow taken his place as the Tenth boss of the Vongola family, and yet here he was. And even more suprising to him was that he really didn't mind. In fact it felt... kind of nice. But he'd never even let himself think that, which was what made him snap out of his daze and realize that they were far from being alone, and that someone was bound to notice what was going on any second. He pushed himself out of the seat the two were occupying, and stomped toward the front of the bus unhaltingly, giving whoever dared stand in his way a good firm shove.

Tsuna's brain finally started back up, and he blinked owlishly. Vaguely, he heard Xanxus threatening someone near the front of the bus, most likely the bus driver, but he didn't pay much attention.

"Jyuudaime! Are you alright! What did that bastard do to you, I'll kill him!" his right hand man's voice penetrated his haze.

"G-Gokudera-kun, I'm fine, really," he replied, and sat up in the seat. He peered at the front of the bus and saw that Xanxus was trying to relax while his Guardians tryed their best to bother him. Tsuna smiled. Maybe this trip wasn't going to be so bad after all...........

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A/N: FINALLY DONE! OH MY GAWD IM SO GLAD! *tears of joy* soryy its kinda short, but i had mojor writers block 0_0 i started this like.... 2 or 3 months in advance so i would finish in time, and right now is 2 days before ninja's birthday, and it is finished! :3 im quite proud of myself. Xanxus is a bit OOC, but i think i got most of the others basically right. so, have a nice day~ rate & review plz!

byt he way, there may be some slight spelling-grammar issues since this is a present for my beta XxBitchNinjaxX so I couldn't exactly let her go over it for me.... Anyway! I LOVE YOU PONYTAIL BUDDY! Hope you like it and have the bestest birthday everr! :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** A Letter from Dino

**Rating:** K+

**Pairings:** None.

**Disclaimer:** KHR! is owned by Akira Amano-san, not me ;)

**Summary:** Romario is cleaning up Dino's desk while he's away, and he finds an interesting letter written by the clumsy boss of the Cavallone family.

**A/N:** Just a quick little fic about how Romario (and the rest of the Cavallone family) cares about Dino and if always taking care of him even though Dino is the boss. :) The idea came to me when I was thinking about this note BitchNinja has on her refrigerator from Tsuna to himself written in Italian...  
WARNING: The note was translated from English to Italian on a Google translator, so I don't know how accurate it is =_= they don't offer Italian at my school either so I must rely on translators...

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Standing behind his boss's large mahogany desk covered with stacks of unsigned paperwork and other miscellaneous papers, Romario sighed. No wonder Dino never cleaned his desk; he never had enough time! The sheer amount of... of **stuff** was daunting in itself, not counting that everything would have to be meticulously organized (which was not Dino's strong point). Romario had a feeling that he would be in the large office for quite some time.

But he had dedicated himself to this task, and he had to see it through for his boss. The boss of the Cavallone family, Dino, was currently in Japan helping out with Tsuna's Vongola family. Romario knew how important Tsuna was to his boss, they were like brothers, and he thought he would surprise his boss with a neat, organized desk to let him know that he was well-appreciated by his men back home in Italy.

Everyone knew that Dino was under a lot of pressure, so they all pitched in and did little things to lessen the burden. Dino was known for caring about his subordinates al throughout the mafia world, and his subordinates all loved and repected him for that.

Romario pulled himself out of his thoughts and focused on the desk in front of him again. He grabbed the nearest stack of papers and began looking through them.

'Well, here I go...' he thought.

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It was about half an hour later when he found the letter. It was in a plain white envelope which read "A chi pu interessare. (To whom it may concern.)" in messy script.

Romario immediately recognized this as his boss's handwriting, and curiosity got the best of him. He opened the letter and started reading it aloud in the empty office.

"A chi pu interessare: **(Italian)**

Il mio nome Dino e io sono il capo di ottava generazione della famiglia Cavallone. Dal momento che ho la cattiva abitudine di ottenere feriti, scrivo questa nota per assicurare che la mia famiglia al sicuro. Se si trova questa nota, ne informi Romario per tenere fuori la mia volont di mani di Reborn. Inoltre, gli chiedo di chiamare mio fratello giurato poco e boss decima generazione della famiglia Vongola, Sawada Tsunayoshi, e lo invito a guardare fuori della mia famiglia Cavallone. Vorrei anche ringraziare tutti i miei subalterni per sempre presa tanta cura di me, non avrei mai potuto chiedere per una famiglia migliore. Grazie.

Firmato,

Dino Cavallone

PS: Assicurati Enzio resta fuori dall'acqua.

(To whom it may concern: **(English)**  
My name is Dino and I am the eighth generation boss of the Cavallone family. Since I have a bad habit of getting injured, I am writing this note to ensure that my family is safe. If you find this note, please tell Romario to keep my Will out of Reborn's hands. Also, ask him to call my sworn little brother and tenth generation boss of the Vongola family, Sawada Tsunayoshi, and ask him to look out of my Cavallone family. I'd also like to thank all of my subordinates for always taking such good care of me, I could never ask for a better family. Thank you.

Signed,

Dino Cavallone P.S: Make sure Enzio stays out of the water.)"

Romario smiled. This was typical of his boss; so young yet already leaving instructions in case of an accident. That man would go to the ends of the Earth to protect his Cavallone family. That was why Romario would do exactly the same thing for the Cavallone's boss.

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A/N: Wow, that is probably the shortest fic I've ever written! But still, I like it :3 I hope you do too! The longest part was probably the letter itself... haha, oh well! r&r!


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